Well, life is messy. It is not like we live in a fairy tale or you ever seen in some Hollywood Motion Pictures. Bad things and good things happen. Somehow, good things happen just like a snapping your fingers. Come across just like you never know it passed you. While bad things are stands still. Like someone ever said that too much happiness would kill. But how do you know when how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask… And when is it all just too much to bear?
At the end of the day hope turns into a funny thing. It comes up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, it may not be a castle. And to be happy right now is more important than happily ever after. See once in a while, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.
Sometimes reality has its way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. Imagine life is a dam. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn’t change the truth. We denied for not to feel the pain, for not to tell that it ever exist.
You ride pain out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up.
People has its own way to ease the pain. We all are always looking for ways to ease the pain. Sometimes we ease the pain by making the best of what we have, sometimes is by losing ourselves in the moment, and sometimes all we need to do to ease the pain is called a simple truce.
Before literally i moved out from Bandung, i’ve made a bucketlist. Bucketlist of several things i’ve should done, places to visit, or it could be anything. Seems to be not all of my checklist has accomplished.
1. Well my first on the list is i should go to original Aroma coffee shop in Banceuy.
2. Next is go to place called Tamim. Hahaha well nothing is really special about this place, except i need to fullfil my curiousity. Turns out the place was just like the ordinary street and sell clothes.
3. I had to go to Lembang. Then visit Obsevatorium Boscha. Hahaha i did go to Lembang but too bad no chance to go to Boscha.
4. This one is more interesting i guess. I should see what’s inside Bragadut (local pub around Braga) hahaha then i made it! What’s inside? It’s only cheap pub with lots noisy and loudy dangdut music but the thing is, the place also had a karaoke room, and they still using a VCD and laser disc. So in the 80s..
5. Jatinangor.. Yet still a mystery…
6. Riding angkot Bandung aimlessly
7. Going around with motorbike while it’s raining. Totally raining. Hahaha this one is stupid and nonsense but it’s a hell of a trip
8. Attend a class in other campus. Like it’s not even your campus. With random people and random lecture.
9. This might sound lame, but i had no chance to go to Maja House. Hahahaha
It’s because we’re so trapped in our culture, in the being of being human on this planet with the brains we have, and the same two arms and legs everybody has. We’re so trapped that any way we could imagine to escape would be just another part of the trap. Anything we want, we’re trained to want.”
Do you want this kind of life? I do
I never understood about life, even if we were friends for a very long time. It’s been 21 years, but it’s no clue about where it takes me. Like it or not, i still be friend with life. Even if it took me to the toughest part of my journey. Just like with any other friends, we had fights and ended with hatred. But life just always find it’s way to make it up with me. So we’re cool. Life has took me both to loathsome and glorious time. But still i know nothing about my very old friend. It always took me by surprise.
Life, it’s like playing a video game. In order to go forward, you need to pass stages. That’s happen also in the real life. Except the saving your journey into memory cards. Just like in a game, there are challenges and obstacles. Like it or not, you need to figure out ways to pass. I just started a new stage of life. Stage where i was pulled out from the very comfort comfort life of mine and to be forced get through challenges.
In every of my job interview, those who i can counts by hand. I talked about my excitement to new life. New treats, new challenges, changes, and so on. But it’s hell hard to actually do it. Confusion is a way harder than to get out from your old and lively life. Figuring out what you might wanted to do, and see opportunities are flying somewhere. What you need is to grab it, the right one and the right time.
Anyway, i’m not gonna write about failures to nailed chances.
What if you get both you want at a time? I faced failures many times. But to decide what you wanted the most among you want, it’s a hell. Though you never experienced any of it before. “Never tried, never know”. Which one will move you forward? Which one will give you more benefits? Those are indefinite questions. The more i questioned, the more confusing it gets.
If life is a video game, i’m so using cheats.
